Assume The Position!!!

I bet you're wondering where I'm going with that title huh? Not exactly along the lines you might be thinking but it's close enough! So as Week 3 begins, I started asking myself...who in the hell named the yoga poses, stretches, hip flexers, core motion movements we've been doing for the well last 3 weeks. Google yielded me about 300 results, I hit the first one naturally called "Yoga Poses & Terms". It lead me to a lovely and quite flexible lady who told me via my Windows Media Player that "yoga is defined by Asanas which is a posture motion with its' literal meaning is "seat." & from this point, she began to show me all the various poses, stances, stretches & core movement that I cared to see. Ok Kimbo, you're asking, WTF does this have to do with that title? Ok, picture yourself in our BodyFit Extreme class one evening...you are sweating like a whore in church, tired, panting or gasping for breath, trying to chug some water flavored with electrolytes & the Greek God YELLS out into his microphone "Assume the position for FROG!" As we all look at each other with wild crazy eyes as if to say, "what's that?" We are suddenly demo'd this position by the Greek God himself where he is in a squatting position, rockin' his torso back n' forth while lifting his rear-end in the air. I'm thinking to myself we have to this? As I assume the position, I hear moans, groans & body parts snapping (as in knees & elbows) and suddenly think & say it out loud, "what kind of video are we doing?" Now laughing DOES NOT help one in that position & the Greek God didn't find that funny so we had to hold this position for a full 2 minutes. Let me tell you that was the longest 2 minutes I've had in a long time & not in a good way. Well that is not the end of my blog just yet, we also have incorporated the "upward bow", "joyful baby", "cobra" , "lunge" & down the healthy road we're traveling-we'll introduce such new positions as the "flowering lotus" which sounds to me like a sleazy massage parlor off 2-Notch Road. Don't forget one of the best stretches the yoga lady demo'd me was the "headstand prep" or how 'bout the "plow" (don't go there with that one) & probably my favorite sudo-nasty pose the "wide legged forward bend". I'm on board with the concept of yoga as well as pilates, but the names of the exercises just get me. However IF I can look like the yoga/pilates instructor Goddess Tamela (who is the friggin mother of 5 yes 5 cute as can be rug-rats) in 60 days well maybe the yoga positions can come into play in other arenas. I mean I've already got rug-burn on my arms from the plank position. As I slurping down my protein shake, I'm just saying this, the "corpse" position, as morbid as it sounds, really looks rather comfy.